About

Written in 2019, “Shivering” is one of the early songs I wrote to process my struggle with depression, at a time when I hadn’t really managed to define what I was going through. Writing this song helped me find the words for the mindset I was in: the anxiety, the heaviness, feeling detached from myself, shaky, the contradictory and confusing relationship with my own darkness… Especially trying to understand how a part of me can cause so much pain and why, if it is mine, I can’t make it stop. “Shivering” is essentially a conversation with myself, going over symptoms and sensations and wondering where they have come from. In the bridge, the conversation escalates to a plea to let me face whatever it is: “So come and flood my mind / With the thoughts you have designed / I will wash my body clean / With the ocean inside of me.” It’s the realisation that running from it and numbing myself to these thoughts and feelings won’t lead to a solution. The song ends with the same lines it begins with, to represent feeling trapped in that space – I’m still shivering.

This one was a strong contender for the “Ocean Inside Me” album as an opener, but we ended up choosing the title track instead. It was always one of my favorites though, and I am very happy it found a home on “Rescue Songs.” The day before Dominic Romano and I started recording the EP, we went on a trip to the Redwoods, and in the car, Dominic asked me to DJ and share some songs I’ve been loving. So, of course, my selection included many Andrew Bird songs. His string arrangements definitely influenced the direction we took in arranging “Shivering,” and it works so well as a musical metaphor, with the pizzicatos creating a movement that makes the whole song feel like it shivers.

Another decision we made in the studio where the story gets told through the songwriting itself is removing the last word at the end of the second verse “I can’t make it” used to be “I can’t make it rhyme” fulfilling its own meaning. I really enjoyed bringing this old song to life through my current perspective so it can tell the story with more clarity than I had at the time, it feels healing to be creative and show a song this care and love that essentially represents one of the darkest parts of myself.

 

Lyrics

It’s running through my veins
It’s crawling under my skin
The feeling still remains
Oh I’m still shivering
Heavy as stones my bones
But as fragile as glass
I stand here on my own
Tearing myself apart

My skin screamed the words
That I didn’t dare to say
Oh I sin and I hurt and
I fight you every day
As I fall
As I fall into your arms again
As you call
As you call disguised as an old friend

My heart beats like a storm
It never hits on time
And I can’t find good chords
I can’t make it

My skin screamed the words
That I didn’t dare to say
Oh I sin and I hurt and
I fight you every day
As I fall
As I fall into your arms again
As you call
As you call disguised as an old friend

You where always waiting for me
Waiting for me to fall.
Living inside me, hiding behind me
Whispering darkness into my soul
So come and flood my mind
With the thoughts you have designed
I will wash my body clean
With the ocean inside of me

My skin screamed the words
That I didn’t dare to say
Oh I sin and I hurt and
I fight you every day
As I fall
As I fall into your arms again
As you call
As you call disguised as an old friend

It’s running through my veins
It’s crawling under my skin
The feeling still remains
Oh I’m still shivering

Discover the details!

Available as high quality WAV download and CD

If you are listening through a great audio system, then this is for you! My music is recorded and mastered to the highest level to please the ears of HiFi enthusiasts.

For a HiFi experience you will find an uncompressed version in CD quality on Bandcamp.

Credits

Written by Luna Keller
Produced by Dominic Romano
Cello arrangement by Harley Eblen
Acoustic Guitar and vocals by Luna Keller
Additional Acoustic guitar and violin by Dominic Romano
Mixed by Dominic Romano
Mastered by Sam Moses